WOW 006 – Heart to help

This has been kind of a pet peeve of mine for years; when a person tries to tell someone how to do a thing or tells them they are doing it wrong or not good enough without giving them any suggestion or assistance to correct the problem. Right away I think, “If you don’t like it, do it yourself!” but that is rarely appropriate to say hehe.

Let’s look at a simple example. Your teenager wants to cook a meal for the family but, he’s not very experienced at cooking. Instead of criticizing his methods or choice of seasonings you could offer suggestions before or while he is cooking. If you aren’t willing to help then you really have no right to criticize the outcome. Get the point?

Now, we see this issue in all kinds of situations from family and friend relationships to workplace and government issues. People love to complain. If you’re one of these people maybe stop and think the next time you are tempted to criticize. Ask yourself ‘Am I criticizing just to express my disapproval of this issue or is there some advice or help I could offer?’. Of course, that’s not always possible, especially with bigger issues like municipal or even federal government.

I suppose it’s the difference between just plain criticizing and constructive criticism. To improve your interpersonal relationships it is best to use the constructive option. Think about how you would feel in the situation especially if it is a friend or family member. No one likes to be criticized but if you can offer assistance or some good advice it may be more well-received.

How do you handle being criticized? Would it be easier to take if the person had “a heart to help”? Let me know in the comments. Have a wonderful day!

2 responses to “WOW 006 – Heart to help”

rcdowding

July 4, 2023 at 10:38 pm

Criticism is a tricky one. When it’s from a place of nurture or to help it’s somehow easier to receive. My experience has often been the opposite. People criticizing to make themselves look ‘more than’ or to make me feel ‘less than.’ This kind of criticism can wreak havoc with self esteem and take years to recover from. I am careful who I share my writing with. Stephen King wrote (On writing) about the importance of ‘keeping the door closed’ when writing a first draft. To be careful who reads it and when. A poor critique can crush our inner artist. The same is true for most endeavors, including cooking. 😉

LikeLiked by 2 people

1. Roze
  
  July 5, 2023 at 2:36 pm
  
  Thanks for stopping in and commenting. I agree with criticism meant to make the criticizer feel ‘better than’. That’s never useful. I was the same with my writing for years, never showed it to anyone until I started my first blog. I’d have been crushed if someone even offered me constructive criticism. I’m more open to it now that I have some experience. I think one has to be very careful and gentle, and be willing to offer good advice or assistance, if they have to correct someone learning a new skill.
  Thanks for your input. I appreciate it. Have a beautiful day!
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person

RazzWorks