RazzWorks

Being shy can be very stressful and demanding especially for the younger ones. When it comes to the mental wellness of a timid child, it’s important for everyone to try and avoid, as best as possible, directly titling or labelling them. Recognizing that an individual is shy or timid or bashful is fine. What I’m referring to is doing your best not to call it out. Like oh, look at you being so bashful….. If your friend was overweight, would you start your conversation with oh, look at you being so fat… I’d like to think you wouldn’t, you’re more likely to just skip that part and get to what you want to say. You’re not denying they are bashful or a little on the heavy side, you recognize it, you just try not to bring attention to it.

With bashful timid people and children, you want to help them to see themselves in a more positive manner without titles and labels. It helps in dealing with social situations with children if you also phrase things a little differently. Say things in a more reassuring way that shows you respect how they feel. For example, you bring a child to a new house and there are other children. You simply tell the child, yeah I know you’ve never been here before, everything is safe, when you’re ready go and check out what kind of toys they have. The same phrase works for a child that is visiting your place or a new daycare. Basically, you’re letting the child know that you respect their feelings and understand that they need time to adjust to the new situation. The other thing this type of phrasing does is places the next decision on the child themselves. You said when they were ready, now the child needs to decide when they are ready, and when they are they need to take a step out of their comfort zone and explore. The great thing is that yes you recognize the child is a little timid or bashful, however, you did not say it out loud. The child, therefore, does not think of themselves as shy or bashful because no title or label was given.

The other thing that is helpful when helping a bashful child is to bring attention to the things they do rather than what they are not doing. So if you want to help improve their confidence and social skills acknowledge every small step they take. If you are a shy person, then give acknowledgment to yourself for how you are improving at recognizing the efforts you make to step outside your comfort zone. It’s the little things that build confidence. Sitting at a table with strangers, handing things to others in the room, smiling or saying hi to people you don’t know. If you see a child do these things let them know what a good job they are doing. Each tiny act builds upon itself giving the individual the confidence and understanding that yes I can do this.

Each positive interaction in social situations that is acknowledged makes a shy person feel good. When you feel good, you feel empowered, and when you feel empowered you feel more confident, the more confident you feel the more you will continue to improve your social skills.

So to help reduce the stress of shyness and improve mental wellness with a shy person, #1 don’t point out the behaviour with the use of titles and labels, and #2 acknowledge the positive things that are done. This way a shy person, whether it’s yourself, a child or an adult, can become more and more comfortable with social situations and continue to improve along the way.

Don’t forget to click the like button and/or leave us a comment.

Razz