RazzWorks

The Ugly Truth

OK, I’m going to be honest with you. I seem to be incapable of following a routine. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a big deal to some people or perhaps you just don’t get it because you like your life very structured but it’s true and it really bothers me. Especially since I’m married to the most organized, structure-driven man on earth.

I used to live a very routine-based life, back when my kids were young and there was school, work, extracurricular activities, volunteer obligations, etc. It wasn’t hard to do back then but I also didn’t have time to think about it, I just did it. With 4 kids and a husband as well as a cat and/or dog I didn’t have time to plan my routine but it worked. My life now couldn’t be more different.

About 12 years ago I went on disability after rupturing a disc in my back, developing severe sciatica, and discovering I also had degenerative disc disease (at 42). I haven’t been able to work since and my ability to do anything physical is deteriorating as I get older. I’m not saying this to complain or look for pity I’m just trying to give you some context. My life took a dramatic turn in 2010 and since then I am completely unable to follow a routine. But I want to!

So I’m going to explore ways to get started and I thought some of you might like to know too. So here goes…

The Dilemma

During my research, I learned some interesting things and saw differing opinions about routines in general. It seems I do have a routine, of sorts, it’s just not working for me. I’m working for it. If I take an outside look into my day I can see patterns around certain parts of my day. Though I haven’t consciously developed this pattern it is there, it’s just the way I do things.

Rather than trying to develop a routine what I really need to do is adjust my current routine to make it work better so I can be more organized and thus more productive. Realizing this changed the direction of my research and things got interesting.

Think about this – do we need a routine? Is it really that crucial to our productivity or are we just setting ourselves up to struggle harder than we need to? I’m not saying routines aren’t helpful and even necessary for many individuals but maybe some of us just don’t thrive in the structure. It can feel binding and constricting. Or is it only because we are trying to force ourselves into a strict routine that doesn’t fit?

As you can see I’ve given myself a lot to think about. I’ve always thought that I’m not ‘a creature of habit’ as my aunt used to say. Maybe I’d do better if I just let myself work freely doing what needs to be done as I think of it. However, there are a few points I’m willing to consider then we’ll see how it goes and adjust as needed.

Hmmm… Well…. Maybe

One of the first suggestions I saw is probably the most important – don’t force it. All this time I’ve been trying to make myself work within the confines of a routine that was not of my design. Razz means well and is trying to help but what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another. I need to figure this out for myself.

The other key suggestion is flexibility. A routine has to have some flexibility in it. We can’t predict how our day will go or what may come up that requires our immediate attention. If our routine is too rigid this will throw off our whole day. For me, I never know what kind of pain day I’ll have. I have chronic pain which means I have pain every day. Most days are tolerable and well-controlled by my meds but now and then I have a day where the pain takes over and I can’t even think straight so getting anything done is nearly impossible. With this in mind, I need to have a lot of flexibility in my schedule as laying down to rest is the only thing I can do on those bad days.

The final suggestion that I am planning to work with is to build small pockets of routine into my day. This much I can manage and it allows for the flexibility I require. Short bursts of structure sound like something I can do. It’s something most of us already do. In the morning after you’re up don’t you do some sort of personal hygiene routine? Maybe shower, or at least wash your face, brush your teeth, brush your hair and get dressed. And again at night, brush your teeth, take your vitamins, wash up, go to bed and read. These are what I would call mini-routines and we do them without planning to.

This is an idea I’ll be running with. I just need to think of the things I ought to do each day and cluster them into a few mini-routines. This is sort of like the habit-stacking I’ve heard of where you take something you already do and add another task to it. For example, every day you eat breakfast and have your coffee. You want to take a few minutes every day to read others’ blog posts but haven’t been able to find the time. So, either while you’re having breakfast or immediately after, you read blogs. If you want you can set a time for it or leave it open. I’d probably try something like 3 posts per day.

More Issues… Aargh!

I don’t like using a clock to schedule my day. I’m not working for someone else so I can choose and I prefer to do a task until it’s finished, or I’m satisfied that I’ve done enough, then move on to the next. As close as I’ll get to timing my work is using the designations of morning, afternoon, and evening.

Another thing I realized I don’t like doing is writing it all down. I guess it feels like I’m committing to it and that’s always been hard. I’ve failed at every routine I’ve planned so far. I need to convince myself that this time will be different because I’ve done my research and really thought it out. Because without writing it down it’s just a thought that I can change at any time. To maintain consistency, which is important, it needs to be on paper or at least in a text document on my laptop.

There’s that word – consistency. A routine isn’t really a routine without it. If we want our routines to work for us we need to be consistent. Do what you need to every day and before you know it you’re in the habit of doing the same things in the same order around the same time every day. And then it’s like your breakfast routine or your bedtime routine, it doesn’t feel like a routine. It’s just what you do. That’s the end goal for me.

We do tend to glorify routines though. We think that with the right routine we’ll flow through our days stress-free and smiling. But that’s not realistic. It could be that for some of us traditional routines just don’t work. We resist the structure and feel confined and controlled. I think that’s why I have to consciously convince myself that little routines are good and that they WILL work for me. Then again maybe they won’t and I’ll continue to fly through my days by the seat of my pants doing whatever I think I need to do whenever I think of it.

One last point before I finish. With or without a routine, there are still lots of things to do and remember. Write it down! I have a terrible memory so if I said yesterday that I’ll do xx for you today, don’t count on me remembering. I have to write down everything I need to do whether it’s for today, a week from now, or next month. I use the calendar on my phone as a reminder for long-term things or tasks that need to be done regularly, like monthly or even weekly. I know there are lots of apps to help with this stuff. Any suggestions?

Finally, I Got This!

With a master list of things to do, I’ll never be bored. To make it work for me though, I need to pair it with a ‘done’ list. The latter is even more important since it gives me a sense of accomplishment seeing all the things I’ve managed to do. I feel less useless and more productive if I can write down 4-5 tasks at the end of the day knowing I didn’t spend the whole day playing games on my phone or watching movies.

So in review, there are a few points to remember

• Identify your current routine and figure out why it’s not working
• Adjust your routine as needed
• Don’t force it
• Keep it flexible
• Create mini-routines throughout your day
• Write it down. Your routine and a To-do list, master list, ‘did it’ list, whatever list(s) will help you.
• Be consistent

How do you handle routines and to-do lists? I’d love to hear about it. I’d appreciate any suggestions you might have to offer.

Roze